If you’ve ever posted anything even mildly visible online, you’ve probably felt it – the sting of a comment that wasn’t just rude, but personal. That tight feeling in your chest. The shame spiral. The thoughts you wish you weren’t thinking.
For me, it started years ago with one sentence on on a video:
“She’s not even qualified.Why would anyone listen to her?”
The words weren’t clever. They weren’t true. But they landed. Because deep down, they poked at something I hadn’t fully owned yet – my success, my path, my worth.
And if you’re a creator, freelancer, or coach putting yourself out there? You’ll likely have a moment like this too.
Here’s how I learned to handle it – without letting it derail me, or dim my voice.
1. Understand the 3 Types of Trolls (and How to Spot Them Fast)
Not every rude comment is worth your energy. Most fall into one of these buckets:
- The Projector: They’re not really mad at you. They’re mad at their own lack of progress, and you’re just the closest target.
- The Contrarian: These are the “just playing devil’s advocate” folks. They thrive on friction. Validation isn’t the goal – the argument is.
- The Drive-by Shamer: These ones drop a random comment like “cringe” or “try harder” with zero context. They’re not here for a conversation. Just chaos.
Once you label the energy, it becomes easier to decide: ignore, respond, or block.
If this kind of stuff keeps you from showing up online, you’re going to love the Mindset Manifesto. I wrote it for moments exactly like this – when your visibility rises, but your inner critic gets loud. Grab it here.
2. My Rule: You Never Have to “Be the Bigger Person” When It Costs Your Peace
This one’s for the high-achievers, the good girls, the “kill ‘em with kindness” crew.
You are not required to be gracious in the face of cruelty.
Sometimes that looks like blocking. Sometimes it’s deleting. And sometimes (rarely, but powerfully), it’s replying once – with clarity and finality – and then moving on.
You don’t owe trolls your composure, your time, or your labor.
You get to protect your energy like it’s your most important client. Because it is.
3. Reclaim the Power: Turn Hate into Content (Without Becoming the Villain)
Some of my best-performing content came from moments of discomfort.
The negative comment that turned into a carousel titled: “They Said I Wasn’t Qualified… Here’s What I Built Anyway.”
The troll who told me “women shouldn’t talk about money” – and the video that racked up 400K views because I did.
But here’s the key: Process the pain privately, then create from the scar – not the wound.
When your nervous system is regulated, your content becomes powerful instead of reactive.
If you’ve ever wanted to turn your hard moments into high-performing content, grab my Viral Hooks That Convert freebie. You’ll get 50+ plug-and-play prompts that help you channel truth – not just noise.
4. How to Build a Buffer Between You and the Noise
Here’s what I wish someone had told me early on:
You do not have to read every comment.
You do not have to reply to every DM.
You do not have to “stay humble” if staying visible requires emotional labor.
Here’s what helps me now:
- My team filters YouTube comments so I only see the constructive ones.
- On harder weeks, I schedule posts and log off for 24 hours.
- I give myself full permission to say “this isn’t for me today.”
Not as a flinch. But as strategy.
Because protecting your voice is part of the mission.
5. The Truth: Their Comment Is Not Your Truth
Let me bring you into a very real moment from earlier this year.
I’d just posted a celebration video: We’d crossed 180,000 followers organically. I was proud. And then – right on cue – someone commented:
“I’d rather have 1,000 real followers than whatever this is.”
Old me? Spirals. Screenshots. Rage-drafts.
New me? Took a breath. Re-read the hundreds of positive replies. Realigned.
Their comment didn’t stop my business.
Didn’t change my students’ results.
Didn’t cancel my proof.
It just… sat there. Powerless.
Because once you know who you are – and who you serve – no random troll can rewrite your story.
Need help anchoring into that kind of clarity? Start with my Bootstrapping Business Owners Guide. It’s a roadmap to stay rooted in your voice, offers, and mission – even when the noise is loud.
Final Word: You Are Allowed to Take Up Space (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)
Being visible online is not easy. But it is powerful.
And the only voices that get hate… are the ones that are heard.
So next time it happens? Don’t shrink.
Stand up. Stand back. Or stand taller.
Whatever you choose – just make sure it’s from power, not fear.
And if you’re building a business, growing an audience, and holding your boundaries while doing it – you’re exactly who I built The Social Clique for.
