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Rachel Pedersen

Rachel Pedersen

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How to Negotiate: Never Split the Difference – Interview With Chris Voss – Part 1

By Rachel Pedersen

chris-voss-rachel-pedersen-never-split-the-difference

Important note: This conversation has been minimally edited from transcription in order to retain the authenticity of the conversation.. Any mistakes in editing and/or transcription are mine, not Chris’s. 

Today I am incredibly honored to be sharing with you a very special interview that I did with one of my absolute favorite authors. I read one of his books and it changed the way that I go into negotiations, AND how I see business and finance. 

Reading his book and then MEETING him were moments that changed everything for me in business and in sales and negotiations. 

I’m talking about none other than Chris Voss. 

Chris is the CEO and founder of the Black Swan Group, as well as the author of, Never Split the Difference. 

Chris Voss was actually the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s hostage working group during Chris’s 24 year tenure in the bureau. 

He was trained in the art of negotiation, not only by the FBI but also by Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School and is also a recipient of the Attorney General’s Award for Excellence in Law Enforcement and the FBI Agents Association Award for Distinguished and Exemplary Service.

Note: Chris is so tough to get ahold of, his executive assistant did not believe that he agreed to an interview with me until we provided actual proof of our conversation. 

I know you’re going to absolutely love this interview. 

Rachel: I read your book, never split the difference at the recommendation. My mentor said ‘Rachel, just read this book.’ It has radically transformed my business, Chris.

Chris: Wow, fantastic. You’re pretty darn successful to begin with. So if it’s helped then, really happy to hear that.

Rachel: The level of confidence that I’ve been bringing to a lot of intimidating conversations with huge companies has been so wonderful. So I want to thank you for that.

Chris: Wow. Wow. That’s a very high compliment. Thank you. My pleasure. I’m happy. This has helped me.

Rachel: A few years ago, I probably would not have described myself as someone who was a great negotiator. And I’m starting to see that skill set develop. So is that something that you learned throughout your life or were those kind of skills already in your DNA?

Chris: I think I learned it throughout my life. I mean, I’m, I’m a little bit of a subscriber to Daniel Coil and the talent code, which is probably very little as actually in our DNA. You know, people that uh, look like naturals or prodigies or for whatever reason they had success… They enjoyed it and then, or something happened that caused them to enjoy it and then you, you know, follow your bliss. Lack of a better term. So, no, I mean, I think, uh, I, I don’t think there’s much, it’s actually in our DNA at all actually.

Rachel: I love that. One thing that you mentioned throughout the book were different stories of people who were not naturally negotiators. They hadn’t had any training either and they’d come to you and present a situation and you would solve it, give a script and you’d say, don’t deviate from the script. Right? I noticed that most of the deals that were lost were because people deviated from the script. One of the things that I find really interesting is you really give people a recipe for success in negotiating. Is it really that simple?

Chris: You know, kinda is. When people have a problem either it’s counterintuitive or we throw an idea at them, um, that, uh, runs contrary to their wiring, if you will. 

For example, the phrase that we teach the people, ‘have you given up on this project? Have you given on x?’ Whatever it is, send it out as a one line text or one line email to somebody who stopped responding to you, they’re gonna respond very quickly. 

I mean the batting average on that is really high. 

Rachel: I love that. Um, that’s something I teach. So many of my students just follow the recipe. It might not be easy, but it’s simple.

Chris: Try to make it simple. That’s, that’s a great point.

Rachel: Absolutely. So one question I have for you is talking a little bit about negotiating. Some people assume that negotiating is like the negotiating is like what we see on TV, right. And you know exactly what I’m talking about. People are slamming their hands down on the desk, they’re pointing fingers and they’re yelling. 

And the moment that I think of negotiating, I think I’m going to have to play hardball and I would gear up and brace up and get really kind of crazy. 

Chris: No. And I, that’s what there is to bad negotiating, you know, bad, really bad negotiating. I mean, and other people that are really great negotiators do, do any of that kind of nonsense. I mean, their patient, um, they don’t pack people into a corner. They don’t make threats. No. 

That’s not to say that you can’t be successful with those bad habits, you know, cause we get some poster children out there that seem to be successful with those bad habits. First of all, they’re a minority. Yeah. Secondly, they’re not as successful as it could have been. 

The hard bargainers in business. You know, they leave so much money on the table. They don’t know how much value they destroyed or how many deals that they’ve lost because of that. So yeah, it’s not about slamming your hands on the table and being the loudest, angriest person in the room.

Rachel: Then I think about like Warren Buffet for example, who is basically his, he has a negotiating tactic, tactic of not negotiating categorically. And he recently came out and said that, which I found really interesting. Do you think that there’s still money left on the table for anyone who says, I don’t negotiate?

Chris: Well, that in and of itself is a, is a negotiation approach and it, um, what people are really saying is, look, I’m open to better ideas, but if you think you’re going to change the price, you’re wrong. Wow. Now I promise you, if you sat down with Warren Buffet and you said, ‘hey look, one, here’s how we can make this work better. Here’s how we, everybody’s going to get more money out of this.’ You begin to justify the non price terms, Warren Buffett, a smart enough guy, first of all, he’s going to listen to you. You know, he wants to hear people out. 

If I don’t go straight primarily is we’re not budget on the price and I gotta tell you we don’t budge on our price and my company, I talk with you a lot about implementation and we’ll talk with you about the other terms of the deal and we’ll always look, make them deal better. 

But do we negotiate on a price unless you throw something a lot more viable than dollars on the table.

To listen to the full podcast click here and select “How to Negotiate: NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE by Chris Voss – INTERVIEW”

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Rachel Pedersen. Founder of RBP Productions, The Viral Touch, & Sontero

Rachel Pedersen has scaled her businesses to 8-figure revenue, grown a fanbase of 3+ million followers, and reached over 100 million people annually (and ORGANICALLY) during a lazy year… She is currently co-writing a fantasy book with her husband, and she’s already spent way too much time perfecting the linguistic rules of her invented language and map!


themrspedersen

Helping freelancers & business owners to grow their business with social media
8figures in 8 years | Hay House Author
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“No one is coming to save you.” This can be extr “No one is coming to save you.” 

This can be extremely triggering for those of us who experienced that feeling in childhood. 

When the system failed us... 

When police showed up with bad intentions. 
When CPS never showed.
When people you begged to help betrayed you. 

“No one is coming to save you” can feel like a death sentence... One child trauma survivors know all too well. 

It feels a lot like life promised us one thing and SWITCHED UP. “You’re on your own kid.” 

^^^^ If that resonates with you, hear me now, please.

There is a stirring happening. 

A future of giants and titans who have saved themselves. They heard that line and got to work. 

If any tiny portion of you has felt a desire to change the systems of government, leadership, service, religion, community, let that be a call to rise. 

When I say “No one’s coming to save you” please hear this 👇

“No one is coming to save you - this is the generational cycle we can break by being brave. We can be the first generation to save ourselves and lay the map for the next generations. Give them a hand up. It’s time to step up and be the leader you needed. It’s not fair and it will continue to not be fair until many leaders say ‘the buck stops with me’.” 

❤️

With that, I will be unavailable for the next 48 hours as I need sleep and rest. 

I’m so behind on comments and texts and responses. I’ll catch up soon 🙏

But we’ve got work to do, and we’ve all got to take care of ourselves before we can help others.
I will remember this week for the rest of my life. I will remember this week for the rest of my life. On so many new levels 🥺

So many things have been changing in my life… and in me. It’s been gentle like a supernova. Old things made new. 

@mrdavegonzalez THANK YOU for being the architect of connections for so many people in many industries!! 

The rooms I spoke to were so vulnerable, authentic, kind, generous, and SAFE. Just wow… 

The types of people that inspire anyone to greatness. Really incredible people doing good things in this world!! 

I did new things this week that I’ve never done before in this way… 

My wise therapist once said “you should standup comedy, you make me laugh.” 

It’s always been one of my biggest fears!! 

But I made a commitment to take good advice from wise people. 

So I did a standup routine for the first part of a talk. It felt so new and free. 

And it didn’t totally bomb 😂😂😂😂

And something happened for the first time in my life. I think the best way to explain it is… 

Some call it channeling or embodying. 
Some call it prophesying or being a mouthpiece. 

All I know is truth and wisdom came out of my mouth in a way I’ve never done in business before. 

If I met you at either event this past week - thank you for being YOU. 

As my life changes before my eyes (good changes - growth and opportunity), I have to say, it’s a constant reminder of how fortunate and favored I have been throughout my journey as an internet marketer. 

Love you all ❤️
“No one is coming to save me…” This picture was t “No one is coming to save me…”

This picture was taken right as that truth hit me like a 2x4. It stung.

We were rebuilding my business after 2022 and I was full of hope. I’d learned a lot and was ready to build right.

But the hits didn’t stop…

Surprise tax bill we weren’t prepared for…

Court case where I was intensely cross examined…

Kids with dreams, activities, uniforms, fees…

Then my dad died suddenly before I could ask important questions.

He hadn’t planned for a funeral - so we stepped up. $25k for his end of life. Our “rebuild” safety net, depleted.

Then I broke my hand racing and couldn’t type fast. How was I supposed to catch up?!

We still had full payroll and family on our team. If I didn’t work, nothing moved. I had to generate $80k a month to keep the lights on. With a dead dad and a broken hand.

So I worked through mourning.

And yet I was still angry at my parents - a dark, growing sliver of my heart embittered.

I couldn’t breathe - panic attacks hit daily. “Is this how being an adult goes? Is this the rest of my life?”

Looking around at leaders of industries, begging for a way free… only to realize the truth was obvious.

They too were on a conveyor belt of “keep the lights on” and “do more.”

WHERE WAS THE FREEDOM ENTREPRENEURSHIP PROMISED ME?

Entrepreneurship is incredible - I love business and marketing.

But we missed things along the way (like building security, becoming your own safety net - not just making more money to fix each crisis).

No one is coming to save me… or you. People don’t hand out parachutes for emergencies.

Depressing but I can handle truth. I prefer it.

So I did the internal work. Saving yourself is a long haul and I needed to be ready.

I forgave my parents (and today I’m so grateful for the relationships I have with my family and mom).

And I stopped believing entrepreneurship alone was enough. We need real battle plans for real life.

I found a way to build forever-security from a mentor I’d trade lives with. I’d love to share it once I’m off the belt fully.

Because…

No one is coming to save us - it feels unfair.

Yet it’s the truth.

Before you save the world, save you and yours ❤️
I wish I had seen bodies like mine when I was a yo I wish I had seen bodies like mine when I was a young mother. So I’m sharing it now!!!!!

Absolutely obsessed. And my book Unfiltered is a USA-Today best-selling book - thanks to all of youuuuuu 🫶

#mamabody
#normalizebodies
#momtummy
#mombods
#mombelly
$60 in the account. I had to choose between cupc $60 in the account. 

I had to choose between cupcakes for my kid’s birthday and food for the family.

That was the number I looked at a few years ago. AFTER I had achieved success.

I had made millions before that low moment... 

And was sitting there staring at a balance that didn’t work.

But honestly that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was waking up and not recognizing my own life.

Bitter at the business.

Hollow in the relationships.

Even the thought of a regular job felt soul-sucking.

I just kept thinking… I need to change something.
(Anything. Please.)

And then I remembered.

I had forgotten the most important thing.

I was allowed to make a new choice.

You know that feeling? When your life looks nothing like what you thought it would, and somehow you’ve convinced yourself you’re stuck with it?

That was me. On the floor of my life, sobbing. 

Until I remembered I could become my own role model. The person I admired was able to be BUILT.

I had built it before. I just had to go back and pick up what I learned on the way up… and bring it with me on the way back.

People like us, we build things. We rebuild things.

Here are the things I focused on:

✨ Faith and imagination and delusion are closer relatives than you think (in business vision).
You need both to see something new where the old thing broke.

✨ You’re allowed to change your mind.
Try new things. Pick a new direction for a project.

✨ Take ownership for the things that aren’t your fault.
Especially those. That’s where your power lives. I’m not talking about childhood trauma... I’m talking about who you choose to be after it. 

✨ Lean on your creative imagination. It’s been waiting for you.
Work like hell on yourself. Not on the optics. On YOU.

✨ And do not have a single minute unaccounted for. I had become irresponsible with my time. I was calling self-pity “healing.”
When you’re stuck… serve. Help one person today before you close the laptop.

They will tell you it’s too late...
That THIS is just who you are now.

They are entirely, completely wrong (if you decide so).

You don’t need to burn down your life. 

You just forgot you’re allowed to build one you like.
:]
no explanation needed siblings taught me communic no explanation needed

siblings taught me communication without words…

shoutout to @bitchyquotes for this one 😂

#funny #relatable #childhood #chaos
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