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Rachel Pedersen

Rachel Pedersen

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Why I’ll Never Pretend to Have It All Together (Especially With My Kids Watching)

By Rachel Pedersen

Let’s get something out of the way: I don’t have it all together.

And I’m not going to pretend that I do.

The internet loves an illusion. The spotless desk. The curated Instagram feed. The “boss mom” with perfect eyeliner running a webinar while her toddler sits quietly reading books in the background.

That’s not me.

Yes, I built an 8-figure business. Yes, I’ve coached thousands of entrepreneurs. Yes, I’ve spoken on stages, hit crazy revenue milestones, and checked off goals I used to think were impossible.

And still… some mornings I’m sending Slack messages in sweatpants while reheating my coffee for the third time because the first two got cold.

The truth? I could try to fake perfection. But here’s why I won’t – and why it actually matters more that my kids see the messy version of success.

Reason 1: Fake “Togetherness” Creates Fragile Leaders

If my kids grow up watching me act like everything is perfect, what am I teaching them? That leadership = pretending. That success = performing. That the way to survive the world is to mask.

No thanks.

I’d rather they see me in the middle of hard decisions, unfinished projects, or moments where I say out loud, “I don’t know yet.” Because resilience isn’t built from watching perfection – it’s built from watching recovery.

👉 If you want to see how I actually build resilient systems (instead of perfect appearances), grab my freebie: Domino Content Blueprint
https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/content-domino

Reason 2: Authenticity Scales Better Than Perfection

Perfection doesn’t scale. It cracks.

When I tried to make everything polished, I was exhausted. The constant editing, the overthinking, the need to “look like I had it together.”

But when I started letting people see the unfinished edges? That’s when my reach exploded. That’s when my posts went viral. That’s when people DM’d me saying, “Finally, someone who sounds real.”

Perfection is forgettable. Realness is magnetic.

And here’s the business kicker → authenticity costs less energy, which means you can do it consistently. Consistency = growth.

👉 Want help showing up consistently without burning out? Start with my Content Calendar Freebie
https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/optin1698247253715 

Reason 3: My Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Mom. They Need a Present One.

This one’s personal.

If I was obsessed with pretending to have it all together, I’d spend my time curating instead of connecting. 

Making sure my hair looked good instead of sitting on the floor building Legos. 

Editing the mess out of my captions instead of letting them see me actually write.

They don’t need me perfect. They need me there.

And if they watch me juggle? If they see me get frustrated, regroup, and try again? That’s better modeling than perfection could ever be.

Sidebar: The Systems That Hold Me

I don’t do it all. Systems do.

  • Automations handle onboarding so I’m not sending 47 emails manually.
  • Frameworks (like batching and repurposing) mean I don’t have to be “on” every single day to look consistent.
  • My team runs playbooks that keep everything moving even if I take a day off.

This isn’t about being superhuman. It’s about being smart enough to build scaffolding that holds everything together when I don’t.

👉 If you want my full playbook? That’s inside the Content Domination Bundle (Paid Resource)
https://www.contentdominationsystem.com/squeeze-page1677190683306 

Reason 4: Pretending Hurts the People You’re Leading

I’ve been in rooms where leaders act like they never struggle. It’s isolating. Their team starts thinking, “Well, I can’t measure up.” Their clients start thinking, “Something’s wrong with me because this feels hard.”

When you tell the truth – when you show the messy middle – you give people permission to keep going.

That’s why I’ll share the wins and the struggles. Because if my audience thinks success = never messing up, they’ll quit the second things get hard.

Resource Spotlight: Real Tools for the “Messy Middle”

Here’s what I recommend if you’re building and it feels messy (because it will):

  • Hook Bank Freebie → 100+ proven hooks to stop overthinking intros
    https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/squeeze-page1649350385522
  • 80 Ways to Find a Client Freebie → if you’re stuck getting started, this will break the spiral
    https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/rachel-80-ways 
  • The Social Clique → my coaching + community where we don’t pretend it’s perfect – we actually build sustainable businesses
    https://www.cliqueforlife.com

Reason 5: Pretending Makes You Small

This one might sting → pretending to have it all together isn’t just exhausting. It keeps you playing small.

When you’re curating, you’re controlling. And when you’re controlling, you’re not experimenting. You’re not risking. You’re not testing wild ideas.

Every big growth leap I’ve made came in seasons where I let go of “perfect” and leaned into action. I’d rather fail in motion than stay safe in an illusion.

Final Word

So no, I’ll never pretend to have it all together. Not online. Not in business. Not in front of my kids.

Because I don’t want them to think success = spotless. I want them to know success = messy, iterative, resilient, human.

And honestly? That’s what makes it sustainable.

Resource Recap

  • Domino Content Blueprint → https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/content-domino
  • Content Calendar Freebie → https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/optin1698247253715
  • Content Domination Bundle (Paid) → https://www.contentdominationsystem.com/squeeze-page1677190683306
  • Hook Bank Freebie → https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/rachel-80-ways 
  • 80 Ways to Find a Client Freebie → https://rachelpedersen.clickfunnels.com/rachel-80-ways
  • The Social Clique → https://www.cliqueforlife.com

Related posts:

The Batching Schedule That Freed Up 20 Hours a Week in My Business

How a Social Media Manager Made the Top 10 Leaderboard for Expert Secrets

What is Social Media Matchmaking?

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Rachel Pedersen. Founder of RBP Productions, The Viral Touch, & Sontero

Rachel Pedersen has scaled her businesses to 8-figure revenue, grown a fanbase of 3+ million followers, and reached over 100 million people annually (and ORGANICALLY) during a lazy year… She is currently co-writing a fantasy book with her husband, and she’s already spent way too much time perfecting the linguistic rules of her invented language and map!


themrspedersen

Helping freelancers & business owners to grow their business with social media
8figures in 8 years | Hay House Author
Free marketing resources 👇

“No one is coming to save you.” This can be extr “No one is coming to save you.” 

This can be extremely triggering for those of us who experienced that feeling in childhood. 

When the system failed us... 

When police showed up with bad intentions. 
When CPS never showed.
When people you begged to help betrayed you. 

“No one is coming to save you” can feel like a death sentence... One child trauma survivors know all too well. 

It feels a lot like life promised us one thing and SWITCHED UP. “You’re on your own kid.” 

^^^^ If that resonates with you, hear me now, please.

There is a stirring happening. 

A future of giants and titans who have saved themselves. They heard that line and got to work. 

If any tiny portion of you has felt a desire to change the systems of government, leadership, service, religion, community, let that be a call to rise. 

When I say “No one’s coming to save you” please hear this 👇

“No one is coming to save you - this is the generational cycle we can break by being brave. We can be the first generation to save ourselves and lay the map for the next generations. Give them a hand up. It’s time to step up and be the leader you needed. It’s not fair and it will continue to not be fair until many leaders say ‘the buck stops with me’.” 

❤️

With that, I will be unavailable for the next 48 hours as I need sleep and rest. 

I’m so behind on comments and texts and responses. I’ll catch up soon 🙏

But we’ve got work to do, and we’ve all got to take care of ourselves before we can help others.
I will remember this week for the rest of my life. I will remember this week for the rest of my life. On so many new levels 🥺

So many things have been changing in my life… and in me. It’s been gentle like a supernova. Old things made new. 

@mrdavegonzalez THANK YOU for being the architect of connections for so many people in many industries!! 

The rooms I spoke to were so vulnerable, authentic, kind, generous, and SAFE. Just wow… 

The types of people that inspire anyone to greatness. Really incredible people doing good things in this world!! 

I did new things this week that I’ve never done before in this way… 

My wise therapist once said “you should standup comedy, you make me laugh.” 

It’s always been one of my biggest fears!! 

But I made a commitment to take good advice from wise people. 

So I did a standup routine for the first part of a talk. It felt so new and free. 

And it didn’t totally bomb 😂😂😂😂

And something happened for the first time in my life. I think the best way to explain it is… 

Some call it channeling or embodying. 
Some call it prophesying or being a mouthpiece. 

All I know is truth and wisdom came out of my mouth in a way I’ve never done in business before. 

If I met you at either event this past week - thank you for being YOU. 

As my life changes before my eyes (good changes - growth and opportunity), I have to say, it’s a constant reminder of how fortunate and favored I have been throughout my journey as an internet marketer. 

Love you all ❤️
“No one is coming to save me…” This picture was t “No one is coming to save me…”

This picture was taken right as that truth hit me like a 2x4. It stung.

We were rebuilding my business after 2022 and I was full of hope. I’d learned a lot and was ready to build right.

But the hits didn’t stop…

Surprise tax bill we weren’t prepared for…

Court case where I was intensely cross examined…

Kids with dreams, activities, uniforms, fees…

Then my dad died suddenly before I could ask important questions.

He hadn’t planned for a funeral - so we stepped up. $25k for his end of life. Our “rebuild” safety net, depleted.

Then I broke my hand racing and couldn’t type fast. How was I supposed to catch up?!

We still had full payroll and family on our team. If I didn’t work, nothing moved. I had to generate $80k a month to keep the lights on. With a dead dad and a broken hand.

So I worked through mourning.

And yet I was still angry at my parents - a dark, growing sliver of my heart embittered.

I couldn’t breathe - panic attacks hit daily. “Is this how being an adult goes? Is this the rest of my life?”

Looking around at leaders of industries, begging for a way free… only to realize the truth was obvious.

They too were on a conveyor belt of “keep the lights on” and “do more.”

WHERE WAS THE FREEDOM ENTREPRENEURSHIP PROMISED ME?

Entrepreneurship is incredible - I love business and marketing.

But we missed things along the way (like building security, becoming your own safety net - not just making more money to fix each crisis).

No one is coming to save me… or you. People don’t hand out parachutes for emergencies.

Depressing but I can handle truth. I prefer it.

So I did the internal work. Saving yourself is a long haul and I needed to be ready.

I forgave my parents (and today I’m so grateful for the relationships I have with my family and mom).

And I stopped believing entrepreneurship alone was enough. We need real battle plans for real life.

I found a way to build forever-security from a mentor I’d trade lives with. I’d love to share it once I’m off the belt fully.

Because…

No one is coming to save us - it feels unfair.

Yet it’s the truth.

Before you save the world, save you and yours ❤️
I wish I had seen bodies like mine when I was a yo I wish I had seen bodies like mine when I was a young mother. So I’m sharing it now!!!!!

Absolutely obsessed. And my book Unfiltered is a USA-Today best-selling book - thanks to all of youuuuuu 🫶

#mamabody
#normalizebodies
#momtummy
#mombods
#mombelly
$60 in the account. I had to choose between cupc $60 in the account. 

I had to choose between cupcakes for my kid’s birthday and food for the family.

That was the number I looked at a few years ago. AFTER I had achieved success.

I had made millions before that low moment... 

And was sitting there staring at a balance that didn’t work.

But honestly that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was waking up and not recognizing my own life.

Bitter at the business.

Hollow in the relationships.

Even the thought of a regular job felt soul-sucking.

I just kept thinking… I need to change something.
(Anything. Please.)

And then I remembered.

I had forgotten the most important thing.

I was allowed to make a new choice.

You know that feeling? When your life looks nothing like what you thought it would, and somehow you’ve convinced yourself you’re stuck with it?

That was me. On the floor of my life, sobbing. 

Until I remembered I could become my own role model. The person I admired was able to be BUILT.

I had built it before. I just had to go back and pick up what I learned on the way up… and bring it with me on the way back.

People like us, we build things. We rebuild things.

Here are the things I focused on:

✨ Faith and imagination and delusion are closer relatives than you think (in business vision).
You need both to see something new where the old thing broke.

✨ You’re allowed to change your mind.
Try new things. Pick a new direction for a project.

✨ Take ownership for the things that aren’t your fault.
Especially those. That’s where your power lives. I’m not talking about childhood trauma... I’m talking about who you choose to be after it. 

✨ Lean on your creative imagination. It’s been waiting for you.
Work like hell on yourself. Not on the optics. On YOU.

✨ And do not have a single minute unaccounted for. I had become irresponsible with my time. I was calling self-pity “healing.”
When you’re stuck… serve. Help one person today before you close the laptop.

They will tell you it’s too late...
That THIS is just who you are now.

They are entirely, completely wrong (if you decide so).

You don’t need to burn down your life. 

You just forgot you’re allowed to build one you like.
:]
no explanation needed siblings taught me communic no explanation needed

siblings taught me communication without words…

shoutout to @bitchyquotes for this one 😂

#funny #relatable #childhood #chaos
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